From Mindless to Mindful
Sonia, my line sister and one of my best girlfriends from college, told me that she had received a ‘word’ for me. She told me that God has amazing plans for me and wants me to go outside my comfort zone so He can take me to my next level of excellence. She said I’m playing it too safe. Time is a funny concept because in about a millisecond I excavated through the last 3 years’ life events to see if there was any truth in this.
Let’s see, I quit a cushy lucrative corporate executive career to create a business that would promote healthy living to the world via an app. That was crazy risky!
I endured rejection from investors that did not have faith in me. That showed vulnerability and courage!
And as a lifelong Financial professional, I am betting my retirement on a moonshot idea. This is monumental risk taking for me. So, uuuuhhhh… No. I’m not playing it safe, thank you very much! I don’t receive that.
But I knew I had to take my thinking to a higher level based on who the question came from and who the question came through. So, in the next millisecond I called forth my spirit. I opened up my emotional guidance system and with one deep breath, all of my heart energy and my intuition were on deck. Tonya, where are you playing it safe? Where do you desire more degrees of freedom? Only Fear and Love color your happiness. You can always simplify whatever is vexing you, by determining which lens you are using.
Sonia said, “I don’t know what this means, but are you playing it safe?” Then my true Self zoomed through like a rocket and inhabited my body (vision a séance)! I straightened and said, only in the way that I fear people think I’m a hippy and might be going too far on my spiritual journey. They want to know, “what gives her the qualifications to think she can offer any guidance on living your best life of pursuing your highest calling?” Basic impostor syndrome stuff.
Sonia was like, “Whoa! Are you kidding me? You don’t look like what you’ve been through, so people may be asking that question. But sister girl, YOU are OVER-qualified. You have to share your story so that fear and those questions disappear.” Wow. I got chills. God did send a word for me after all.
So, here’s my story and is why I am qualified to help you get to your best self. It took me 12 years to arrive at this place of peace and purpose from a place of TOTAL CHAOS! I want everyone to know it is possible to have contentment in your life. And better yet how to get there…
I hid the embarrassment of an abusive marriage, battled through a bitter divorce, and suffered quietly through depression and alcoholism. Separated from my kids, I endured incredible mother’s guilt and judgement from my own family, society at large, and to be honest, even from myself. In the midst of it all, my kids were in a tragic car accident where my son almost died and is to this day, paralyzed. I spent months in hospitals, my best friend took me in, I had no job, a dwindling bank account and a future that looked really, really bleak.
I didn’t know it then, but I know it now, it was my faithfulness that kept me shlogging through each day in God’s promise trying to get to the other side. How do you practice forgiveness and gratitude when everything has gone to shit? Thankful for what? Forgive who? Child please! You see, I didn’t have role models for this messy stuff. My parents are still married, domestic violence is a dirty little secret, and I never knew anyone with a disability.
Fast forward…It wasn’t easy, and it took years, one present moment at a time. I got a better job at a great company, making phenomenal money. I married a man who treats me like the queen that I am. My son has inspired thousands with his charming personality, and thirst for life while traversing a severe disability. Both of my kids just moved into new homes this month and are living independently, hallelujah! I’m very proud of them both. Its spring. I’m healthy, beautiful and yes, now wise.
The tools to overcome deep levels of shame and trauma on a spiritual level are all the same. I can give you the tools to get to the life you want in an incredibly shorter amount of time. So there. I pulled out my courage, put on my big girl panties, and continue to walk in faith for whatever God has for me. Shower down on me Lord. Shower down! :)
Join me on my 60—Day Wellness Journey to chart your path to your best life. I’m qualified. The only question is…are you ready? Sign up HERE to reserve your space and to receive more information.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
UGottaEat…so feed your mind, body and spirit.
Love, Light and Courage,
Tonya