Rescue Me from Me

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Say goodbye to the past. Last week I was visiting Detroit and I went to Hope United Methodist Church, a church I used to attend when my kids were little.  It was great to be back in that space.  The older couple that sat behind us was still attending.  I raised my kids in Southfield for nine years, and the entire weekend was filled with memory after memory.  I went by the old house, got my hair done by my old stylists and hung out with old friends and coworkers like old times.  I laughed a lot, ate responsibly, and had one too many drinks.

I’m smart enough to not drink enough to get truly “hungover” like in my college years. Now I work on my mindful drinking.  Sounds like an oxymoron, I know.  But this is one of those important areas that most people want to avoid...mindfully.  I know I’ve had too many drinks when I move slowly in the morning with little yet happy short-term memory, when I need a nap before noon, and when the whites of my eyes are different shades of the rainbow.  Out of context, it sounds relaxing and cute but it’s not.

During church service, the pastor said in the opening prayer to God, “Rescue me from me.”  I love that.  I prayed that with the congregation.  I receive it.  So I’ve been rescued from bad relationships, low self-esteem, foods that are bad for me, meat, and now, drinking mindlessly.  It’s great to look at the past in the context of the future. Everything must change and can propel you into an entirely new life.  It’s okay to change when you’re happy.  It’s okay to change when you’re sad.  Embrace change. Get out of your own way.  Rescue yourself from whatever remnants of the past hold you back.

Goodbye old love. It was great while it lasted. I’ve moved on. Yes, I have outgrown you. It does not mean that I think I’m better than you. I am not being arrogant or conceited now that I am looking good and feeling good. I feel you saying, “Oh you think you’re all that now!” You say it like I should be ashamed and that is why I have to say goodbye. Say it like a celebration. Like you get me. Like you’re happy for me. Like I feel. I do feel great now! I’m happy and healthy and getting better everyday.

I am all that. Finally! After a lifetime of struggle and self-doubt, I am finally feeling good about myself. Don’t try to shame me for it. Or beat me into submission. Stop saying I’ll never amount to anything. It’s not true. Look at me! I’m already sprouting wings, and you can’t handle it. I’d love for you to come with me when you can see my greatness. Until then, I have to say goodbye. I’m mindful now about my wellbeing.

Rescued.

UGottaEat and Drink…so eat and drink mindfully. :)