Juxtaposition

On Saturday, one of my best childhood friends died of breast cancer after a 7-year battle. This week also marks my 5-year wedding anniversary to an ahhhhmaaaazing man, and we know how I love to celebrate, so I’m feeling some kind of way about things. Reeling actually. Quite the juxtaposition, huh?

Dayvi was fearless and had her own way of looking at things. She had this Machiavellian mindset. Fiercely loyal, but don’t get on her wrong side or fate was uncertain. I lovingly call her Crazy Dayvi. Sweet as pie, pretty by any standard with light eyes, long wavy dark brown hair, and butter skin, and wicked smart. But you had to love her like a crazy uncle, or a Quenton Turentino movie. As I take time to reminisce, I realize she was the one who taught me to take risks, to be bold and to embrace the unconventional. I used to stay in my lane and be a good student so I could stay out of trouble. Dayvi taught me that I had to switch lanes if I wanted to have any real fun at all!  I’m sure that without her in my life, I might have ended up a much less interesting person. 

I won’t tell you all the mayhem we got into because my parents read my blogs (I hope :)). But I will tell you some things I learned from her: You have to color outside the lines to create a masterpiece. Everybody sometimes lies so learn how to recognize them.  You always need a side hustle. “Being pretty” is a thing. Loyalty is a bigger thing. Rest in peace Dayvi. Rest in peace.

Now for my anniversary--my husband Craig is the friendliest, kindest, most unpretentious person that I know. Just like Everybody Loves Raymond, Everybody Loves Craig. When we met I was divorced and my two kids had just been in a tragic car accident. My son was disabled as a result, and I wasn’t working so that I could take care of him. Craig’s mother thought he seemed to be taking on a lot of baggage with this new lady friend. I couldn’t be mad. On paper, she wasn’t wrong. I would likely give my own son the same cautionary advice in the same circumstance.   

But Craig looked past my situation and saw just me. He was a calm presence when my world was upside down, and he is doing the same thing for me this week as I mourn Dayvi, and like he does every week. At my lowest Craig reached down and extended me a hand. He is never embarrassed by me, my points of view, or my opinions. He literally loves me unconditionally. He never raises his voice and will not argue. He just won’t have it. Disagree? Yes. Fight? No. He’s easy like a Sunday morning. He cooks for me almost every day even when I tell him he doesn’t need to. He says you can eat it for lunch tomorrow… UGottaEat! Oh, how I love this man. 

And so this week I share my life’s juxtapositions with you. I’m very sad, but I’m feeling super blessed at the same time. Happy Anniversary Craig, and Happy Home Going Dayvi. This is what life is all about, and its just like my girl Dayvi taught me. Life is what you make it. Hey life-- thank you for the juxtaposition! I get it.

 UGottaEat…so eat mindfully.

Feeding your mind, body and spirit.

For my birthday next week, please consider contributing to the GoFundMe to support Dayvi’s 9 year old daughters College fund...dayvi-daggett-hill-scholarship-for-daughter-nahla

Love and Light,

Tonya