Money’s Funeral: A Eulogy

My money got sick and then she died. I tried to save her. Lord knows I did. She had become my best friend. She comforted me when I was low, and celebrated me when I was happy. Bought me nice things and took me around the world. An ever present help, or so I thought...

Money worked at church and a variety of good causes. She loved my kids and afforded them a comfortable upbringing, for which I will always be grateful. The older my kids got, the more time she spent with them.  To the point that by the time they went to college, I hardly ever saw Money at all! I was frustrated at how they took her for granted and I wanted her back.  Because the Universe is kind, when the kids graduated, my Money came back and focused all her attention on me. 😄

One day I checked and my Money was low. She had stopped growing and I couldn’t reconcile it in my head.  I worked myself crazy fattening her up. Yes, my Money was fat, and I loved her that way. She wasn’t as large as my neighbors’, so I kept feeding her. I even worked extra-long hours and started to doing things I didn’t want to, just to make sure she would keep growing.

She told me I had to let her go. Essentially my love for Money destroyed our relationship. I tried not to think about her and she got real fickle. Money kept leaving me for one emergency or another. She wouldn’t show up when she was supposed to, and she stopped answering when I called altogether. Finally, my dear, sweet Money got real thin, and poof...she was gone.

Today we are here to celebrate all of the great things we learned from Money and to make sure her legacy lives on. She loved her family and took great care of them. Money was preceded in death by Disposable Income, Fancy Car and Nice Clothes. She is survived by her oldest Real Estate, and most glorified in the good works of her baby girl, Charity and her offspring.

It’s hard to understand why these things happen. Please help the family by increasing your support to Charity and her family, Compassion, Love, and Kindness.  They need us more than ever before. And congratulations to Charity who is pregnant with Possibilities and expected to give birth to Abundance any day now.

And we must acknowledge Fear and Sorrow who were ever-present in Money’s last days. We thank them for their service as they have a difficult role to play and are quite frankly, under appreciated. Now that they have been recognized, we can let them go too. We ask that when they visit (and they will visit), that they not come too often nor stay too long.  

Finally, it is incumbent on all of us to remember Money in her glory and at her healthiest when she circulated freely and helped everyone.  In the days before she was possessed by just a few. And so as we leave here today, we bless each and every one of you in your going and your coming.  May the peace of the Lord go with you always, and always remember...

Support Charity and her offspring, expect to receive Abundance, and don’t love Money too much.

And so it is.

UGottaEat…so eat mindfully.
Feeding your heart, mind and spirit.